What’s the deal with Self Love?

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Gaining insights and writing about it is one story, experiencing it is another. That’s the deal with Self Love, always in the news, people talking about it with a big ball of opinion and with so much confidence that its difficult to cross question.

But have we thought about it in detail? Why are there mixed reviews about self love? Why some people think that self love is important while in some cases it is deeply misinterpreted with self obsession?

There are hundred of articles, videos and quotes written by some elite personalities that promote self love. Honestly if you want to google it to find answers, there would be tonnes of stuff available to enlighten you, but the real question is that do we understand “how” part of this transition?


Let’s talk about what really is self love?

For me the most simplified version of self love is keeping your cup full. When I say keeping your cup full it means that we should be keeping ourselves satisfied, in all aspects of our being. Our being is carefully divided in the four aspects – physical, mental, emotional and spiritual.

In order to function at the highest level of our true self, we have to keep our cup full emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually. The need to balance these four wheels is an absolute requirement to understand our true self and until we understand who we truly are, self love doesn’t come into picture.

To explain this concept through an example, let’s look at the car that is operating on four wheels. It is easiest to drive the car when all four wheels are inflated and functioning properly. An auto start and you are ready to roll. But what happens when one of the wheel is punctured? It’s almost impossible to drive, right? Sure if you would still want to drag the whole car you can, but it would need more fuel and energy still it can never be at the same speed as the car that was functioning with all four wheels at balance. Our body is like a car running on these four wheels and if any one of the aspect is missing, means we are not functioning at our optimum level.

It is not just good, but absolutely crucial for us to balance ourselves in all these four aspects in order to truly understand who we are and then create that self love. In my experience, if you would know your true self you will automatically start practicing self love. It is the self awareness that can cut chaos and bring us in harmony.

The talks about self love is a phenomenon constructed by people who have found immense benefits in this type of living. Different writers and media influencers have stressed enough that giving back is only possible when we are full. They promote and spread the word to ensure our personal growth and create an optimistic outlook. But as an individual we need to deconstruct the phenomenon to really commit to self love at cellular level.

We are unique in our own ways and we are like this for a reason. If beauty standards and perfection was God’s creation then He wouldn’t have made us different from one another. Every individual comes with a specific reason and purpose and their gifts are unique to them.

When I first came across this phenomenon I felt guilty for not loving myself the way it ideally should be. But then as I practiced, it wasn’t that easy. Everytime there was a setback, there were failed attempts and I kept wondering how others do it. Little did I know that I was driving a car with only three wheels operational or maybe two.

Its after years of self analysis and knowing myself that I figured out the reason why self love was so difficult for me. I wasn’t spiritually aligned, I was mentally drained and exhausted by matters that was beyond my reach and control, I was giving too much emotionally and getting too little in return which became a setback for me and as a result I was too self critical about my physical aspect. No wheel was working for me, however in the process of figuring out this phenomenon one thing that stuck with me was that every aspect is triggered by spirituality. If I was not spiritually aligned, it was obvious that I would want to control my life the way I want to, instead of believing in the flow of energy. Only because I didn’t understand the concept of when to draw a line and saying no, I kept giving and giving. My mind was filled with matters of seeing and not feeling and believing. During that time I learnt that spiritual aspect is the driving wheel to balance almost every aspect of your being.

I used various tools to spiritually align myself. Sometimes I used to journal or picked to stay in solitude for introspection. Other times I picked books to read. I also learnt the concept of energy and chakras to go through the anatomy of our physical and spiritual body. At times I used to travel to disconnect from the world and connect to myself. However, out of all the tools I used over the years my favorite was meditation and it is that one tool that I can never let go of.

Every day when I sit at peace, I feel an energy of tranquility flowing through my body, relieving me of all the stress and anxiety that I was carrying for the day. That energy tells me that I am gifted and irreplaceable, that I have a reason to be here. Whether I have good or bad, I was created with love and compassion and there are no mistakes made by Universe.

That very moment I am aligned with my true self and as an outcome, I indulge in self love.

To summarize this whole concept of self love, it is not an action but an outcome. An outcome as a result of self awareness and being in connection with your true self, without which self love becomes self obsession. So go find your rhythm and get in tune with yourself.



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