Is 30’s really the new 20’s?

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Its day 1 for many people in this organization. Why wouldn’t that be? They are through the college life with flying colors, got placement offers to join the organizations that becomes the beginning for their new career. It’s a different road for them, different yet exciting.

As I looked around the training room full of fresh, straight out of college faces, I couldn’t help but notice a group taking selfies, a bunch of girls giggling and planning for weekend getaways and guys discussing politics. Let me stress here that it’s Day 1 for most of them.. And I am wondering, “Is it really”?

Is it really that easy for people in their 20’s to make friends, pick groups and go to late night pubs with them?

Still analyzing the thought and then memories of my twenty something flashed back.

I was quite friendly, ready to chit chat with any person sitting next to my office desk, outspoken and quite well known in office. I made friends in the flash of second and plans even faster. I guess it’s the 20 something attitude which is open to accept anyone without judgement, without expectations and without any motive.

Twenty something people don’t think too much while taking a step. I never did when I had people around me. I remember making a weekend plan with a friend with who I hardly used to speak during office hours and for me it wasn’t a date. Not sure if the guy took it like that and I couldn’t really figure out as I didn’t get a chance to catch up with him later. But random dates with random people was normal and thought of taking life seriously wasn’t.

Lately I heard people saying that “30’s is the new 20’s”. I have this quote stuck in my head ever since.

Is it really true? Or are we playing with numbers to make ourselves feel younger?

I thought for a while and then took my laptop to write about it. Yea! That’s how I get inspiration to write and clearly this wasn’t the case when I was in my twenties.

To make myself clear, I want to highlight that I have recently completed my 30th birthday which makes me an expert in 20’s something section but still novice for 30 something one.

To me personally, it seems like a fresh start but I guess it’s very personal. There are people out there with a different attitude and different life strategies.

So here I am ready to write about one of the most interesting things I have come across recently. I hope you are able to relate to few topics, by the time you reach the end of the blogpost.

 

Your life purpose gains more clarity in your thirties..

Our twenties is all about experiences and crossroads. That pathetic relationship which made us vulnerable eventually leaving us with tears, that heart aching breakups, the unforgettable trips to markets, those budget friendly shopping, the confusing statements about better career choices, always wanting more, figuring out our purpose and many other tit bits.

Twenties was about experiencing the possibilities and making mistakes. It never came with a full proof do’s and don’ts list.

In your later twenties things start to get more precise than what it was before. When you hit your 30’s you suddenly realize or maybe start to realize what you really want to do. This wasn’t clear in a younger age with limited experiences.

I personally feel that my young time was dipped in a pool of chaos. Always wanting everything to feeling hopeless about nothing, it was all about how silly I could get without realizing it.

I remember not giving any thoughts to what is that I love doing. I just went with the crowd. Someone suggested training is where you should make your career, quoting flexibility benefits, and that was enough for me to get influenced. My friends of similar age group were no different.

Nobody thought about the likes and dislikes and the possibility of making career out of it. It was all about converting 5 figure income to 6 figure income as soon as possible. Career choices were predictable that could fetch good income and importance to art wasn’t really the appreciated choice.

As you get older you start to realize that your work isn’t fun anymore, there is less value in what you do, and you don’t feel like getting up feeling excited for the office.

It changes your perspective altogether. You want to do something that you love and you never had the courage to take the step. It only gets clearer with age and experiences.

 

From “what would people think” to “how do I feel”

Lets be honest on this one. Twenties is more about framing an image and sticking to that. It matters a lot when people turn their head whether it’s for good or bad. You want to follow the latest trends and want people to discuss. It’s all about trying new things and discussing them with a bunch of friends, not being updated on the latest trends wasn’t cool and professionalism was considered boring.

Taking risks even with style was terrifying. “What would people think” was the fear that kept us away from uncovering our true self. Isn’t it?

As you gain experiences in life, you transition into a phase of “ I don’t care”. What matters is the rush of emotions when you do what you always wanted to do. Every other person’s thoughts suddenly doesn’t hold any value.

To cut short this whole view point doesn’t come overnight. It hits the surface when all those mind numbing experiences gets too overwhelming.

We start wondering if it’s the attitude that attracts wrong people in our lives or it’s just pure bad luck.

Thirties is all about using all those experiences and putting them to good use. You stop pleasing people and start asking your opinion about anything you want to do. Suddenly you become the most important person in your life and for me that’s the best relationship.

 

From taking breaks together to valuing “Me Time”

Ask any 20 something person (preferably in their early 20’s) to take breaks alone, eat alone, watch movie alone, or go for a walk alone. I am sure their eyes will roll on this question.

It is not just that being alone is horrifying, but it is more about the possibility of having more people around you all the time. You have more friends or boyfriends who you can count on for social dates and party time. Spending time with yourself was not on the agenda list unless you realize that you need to do so.

Taking a break from a hectic work, ditching a gossip session for a cup of coffee and your favorite book is a thing that reminds us that we are approaching or have reached out thirties. My realization on finding solace with myself has not only made me independent but powerful too. And why wouldn’t that be? I don’t need a relationship to rely on for myself. I just need myself.

 

From vast career choices to choosing your niche

As they say, “twenties is full of crossroads”. Probably everything you do, including the mistakes is actually shaping your life. You keep picking vague options thinking “how can I make such a mistake”, but in reality it is not a mistake, it is an action with a reaction that brings you more closer to a profound sane self.

We don’t realize that it our twenties. Honestly many people don’t even realize this in their thirties too. I happen to become the lucky one who understood that every step is shaped up with better opportunities in future. Nothing is coincidence.

I could relate to the confusions we used to have when we were younger. No career choice gave us that satisfaction and neither we had that clarity too. It was all about the conventional career options (glad that it’s not the case with coming generations anymore). I never remember giving importance to the question, “Do I want to do this?” before agreeing to anything.

Honestly I have been asking this question to myself always but I could never respond like the way I do now. A simple one word reply, “Yes” or “No” and sticking to it.

Experience makes you a smart person isn’t it.

 

From “changing yourself for a person” to looking for a “person who doesn’t change you”

It’s easier to fall in love when we are young. Somehow there are more flings more crushes and more tours and travel services to the dreamland of home sweet home. Every guy you have a crush on is looked from a perspective of future husband or wife.

Falling in love was like having ice cream from the ice cream parlor, every flavor looked tempting to be tried. Few in their twenties tried all the flavors while few had fidelity concerns to leave their most favorite ones and move to another.
When it comes to thirties dating is like visiting ice cream parlor, not to try different flavors but to inspect for quality purposes. A bird eye view gives judgemental thoughts and we decide whether to have a flavor of ice cream or chuck the idea of taking in calories altogether.

It’s the priorities that take a different route.

Suddenly we decide to become who we are instead of pretending to change ourselves. Comfort takes over pretence and a watching movies in pajamas and popcorn becomes the ideal date. A person who lets you be “you” is the most charming thing that you could ever think about.

 

With all the points, I would want to revise the quote. It should be “Thirty is the new wise twenty” and with this I close the note.

XOXO

 

Hashtag Is In

Hashtag Is In

 

17 Comments

  1. Jaimi says:

    I am 30 and LOVE it. I think 20’s for me I followed fashion and cared what other people thought. Now I dress and pick items that I love, I have found my own style and don’t feel the need to impress anyone. I feel at peace with myself and silly little things don’t bother me. I wouldn’t rewind time – I’m so excited about the adventures 30s will bring! Great post thanks x

  2. Ali Giska says:

    I wish I could care less about what others think and be true to myself. It’s an ongoing challenge—I’m 37. Thanks for the great perspective and the reminder to let go. I’m facing this whole idea of imperfection as well and writing has been the best outlet! https://www.leadingwithimperfection.com/people-dont-see-leader/

    • Daniya says:

      Letting go is one of the biggest challenge for many of us.. Sooner we learn, better it is for us.. Great to know that you are following your heart and my best wishes to you..

  3. Ajay K says:

    Great post Daniya! As they say – True love makes things happen! Stay blessed 🙂

  4. Stephanie says:

    Definitely agree about doing things on your own. I crave alone time now in my 30s but it could be because I have kids?
    I wish I’d done more in my 20s as I now realise how much freedom I had then! However I definitely don’t feel any older now. Just wiser ☺

  5. I agree with so much of this post, and honestly, at 38, I still find myself maturing through some of your points. I love the one about your career perspective. The older you get, the more you realize that your job should bring value to you and others. And that money is a by-product of that and not as important. I love that you’re already figuring that out! It takes some people well into their 40s (hello mid-life crisis). Great post!

  6. Anissa says:

    I didn’t start getting clarity until I hit 40! I was still confused at 30😳.. Great points shared here for those going through different life phases. What’s important to me at this age is being present in this journey! Thanks for sharing!

  7. Kamila says:

    30’s make you blossom. I’m aproaching mid 30’s and would never go back to 20’s. I did most of my travels and lots of partying in my 20’s now I feel so very content and happy.
    Lovely blog girl!

  8. Lucy says:

    As someone who is quite a bit older than you I can tell you that each decade brings with it a new perspective.
    In your 20s you’re still trying to work out who you are and where you fit in. And you know no boundaries or restrictions. It’s a great time to try new things and experiences. You’re right that friendships are much easier then as they don’t have as much relevance as they do later in life.
    Enjoy your 30s. It’s a great decade.
    Great post. Thanks for sharing!

  9. What a wonderful post – it was fun to read as I “look back.” I’m in my mid 40s now, and ya know, I kinda feel like I’m in 30s, especially with 2 young children. I do believe that as we progress and our consciousness grows, our appreciation for the “underside” of life grows. We learn to appreciate more of what is, learning to release, as we go along, that which no longer serves us. Blessings on your journey – I know you will drink in every moment!!

  10. Teresa says:

    Great post. I hope its true that 30 is the new 20. That makes me feel so much better about my age. With age comes wisdom definitely, so we really are all continuing to grow within who were are and who we are meant to be. I enjoyed ready this article; thanks for sharing.

  11. Leigh says:

    I’m in my twenties and already starting to feel and realise a lot of what you said in your post — must be from moving abroad that makes all these types of experiences more clear earlier on in life! Or perhaps a thirty-something husband! 😉 But it sure does show the gaps and phases in our lives — how different things matter at different times. What a great post for people to get some insight an db more self aware!

    • Daniya says:

      Wow Leigh. I love that you are realizing the difference between the phases and that’s not because you are in your thirties but your husband is. Learning from different people’s experience is a sign of a genius 🙂

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